My Dad

My dad went into an Alzheimer's home yesterday.  What we knew would be coming sometime in the next year suddenly happened all within a week.  His dementia, which has been getting progressively worse, reached the point where he needs more care than can be given at home.  I knew this.  We all did.  But learning of it within a week's time was a crash course in grief.  

This week has been a hard one, I've shed a lot of tears for him, for his life, for all the changes that are coming his way, for our memories, for all that he's lost to the terrible disease.   He didn't know this move was imminent, didn't know it would be the end of the daily life and routines that he clung to. 

In the 21 years since my mom died, he and I have talked either in person or on the phone almost every single day.  He's at the point now where I don't think he quite remembers who he's talking to - instead refers to me as "Number 3 Daughter". But we still talk.  We chat about my weather, his weather.  My kids, his beloved pets, what he's up to and vice versa.  I always look forward to our talks and it's a part of our daily lives.  He's not supposed to have phone calls for awhile, until he settles in, (understandable) but already I feel the loss.  My heart hurts - and I'm missing him immensely.  

{all photos taken in April 2013}